


A New Name for Everything

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: lovers from the moon [9]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Fairy tale weddings mean crazy shit like parents coming back from the dead to attend, Jonah and Max are much more confident about what she's becoming though, Kinga is a little bit crisis-y about what she's becoming, Multi, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, did you know that three people look super fucking awkward slow dancing together, the Bots have a very legitimate bone to pick with Jonah, the wedding of the century, weddings are exhausting and newlyweds deserve naps, well Max did and that's why they have three first dances instead of one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-06 23:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12828294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: A month after her coup, the world's most popular head of state ties the knot with the two men she loves. Of course, nothing about this wedding is normal, but nothing about Kinga and Max and Jonah is normal anyways. Normal is boring and they are most certainly not boring.





	A New Name for Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, did you know that this series has a soundtrack? [Here it is!](https://open.spotify.com/user/speccygeek/playlist/3FWLyhgLGZPx40bm0IrU53) You may want it by the time you get to the reception.
> 
> There are probably two more pieces of this day that need to be written, but I don't think they'll be written as part of NaNoWriMo.
> 
> Bits of this story were written in August. That's how goddamn long I've been working on this plot point. 
> 
> Man, I really hope people will like this.

The weeks after Kinga’s coup were a whirlwind of activity. Her insistence that the wedding needed to happen before her baby bump got too noticeable gave them a tight deadline as she’d just been starting to show when she figured out she was pregnant in the first place. Once they’d made it to Earth one of the first things she’d done was go to an obstetrician, but the ultrasound showed no trace of the IUD that still had to be in there somewhere. What the ultrasound _did_ show was a well-formed baby girl, which was thrilling news. It wasn’t like she would have been disappointed with a son, but the thought of raising her daughter as a princess filled Kinga’s head with all the princess fantasies she’d had as a girl, and she wanted to give her baby girl everything she’d ever dreamed of for herself.

While Kinga’s attention was mostly consumed by establishing her new dynasty and making it look like she was the one filling the ranks of her newly formed government, Max had eagerly taken over the wedding planning. When Jonah jokingly called him a bridezilla while they were tasting cakes, Max just snorted. “Please. I’m a hopeless romantic. You’ve known this the whole time. Of course I’ve planned my dream wedding. What do you think about this buttercream?”

Jonah did his best to help them both, sometimes at the same time. Max had given Jonah control of the guest list after he and Kinga came up with their own woefully brief contributions to it, and Jonah spent a few late nights fretting about how few people would be there for his impending spouses’ sakes. He felt guilty about the fact that he was the only one who’d have parents there, and in a fit of irrational hope he reached out to Brain Guy to see if there was anything at all that could be done to find a way to get Dr. Forrester and Frank to be there. Sure, they were both dead, but the whole history of the Mystery Science Theater experiment was littered with improbable and impossible events and maybe that insanity would extend as far as the historically unprecedented wedding of mad scientist, second banana, and test subject. It was worth a shot, at least.

Between the cake tastings and the suit and gown fittings and the myriad little fripperies of an extravagant state wedding of a newly minted monarch on one hand, and the seemingly endless list of things occupying the empress’s attention, the day of the wedding was there almost before any of them had really come to grips with the reality of it. The rehearsal dinner went mostly smoothly, but Jonah and Max could both see the melancholy in Kinga’s gaze as she walked herself down the aisle, and the bemusement in her expression when Jonah’s mom fussed over her afterwards. Jonah hadn’t mentioned his attempt to procure his fiancees’ parents but he was privately disappointed that he couldn’t conjure another miracle for them. 

“You seem sad,” Jonah said that night as they got ready for bed. “What can we do to make you less sad?”

“I’m not sad,” Kinga said with a laugh that rang hollow, fluffing up her pillow and not looking at either of them. “I’m getting everything I ever dreamed of, why would I be sad? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You don’t have to bullshit us,” Max said, sitting on her edge of the bed. “I wish you wouldn’t. Especially not now.”

“I’m fine,” she said, but her eyes were welling up when she met his gaze. “Nothing’s wrong, why would anything be wrong?”

“Whatever you’re feeling right now is valid,” Jonah said, reaching for her hand. She sniffed once and then burst into tears.

“It’s not valid though,” she sobbed. “It’s just— just hormones fucking around with me. I have no— no— no reason to be unhappy.” Max and Jonah shared a glance and then sandwiched her between them. She buried her face against Jonah’s shoulder and Max rubbed her back gently. “It’s— it’s so stupid, I hate this, I hate wanting to cry all the time, I want to cry _all the time_.”

“You’re allowed to cry if you want to,” Max said. “No one can stop you.”

“Are you _kidding_? I can’t break down in front of anyone, I’d look so— so weak— I can’t look weak.” 

“You’re not weak,” Jonah murmured into her hair, kissing the top of her head. “You’re the strongest woman I know. Being emotional doesn’t make you weak.”

“Tell that to all the other world leaders,” she whimpered, and Max laughed quietly.

“Kinga. Seriously. You could break into tears every fifteen minutes on the clock and you’d still be significantly more stable than the last person running this country. Even at your most irrational, you’re still more rational than he was. And you know we wouldn’t let you do anything destructive on impulse.”

“I don’t want to destroy anything,” she said, and lifted her head to wipe at her eyes. “I want to _build_ , and I don’t know what to do with that. I want— I want to make the world a better place and it’s fucking confusing!”

“Oh, Kinga...” Jonah wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair again. “You’re evolving. And evolution can be terrifying. But it’s a good thing.”

“What am I evolving into, though?” She sounded desperate. “I’m— I’m a supervillain, I’ve always been a supervillain, I can’t just decide to be something other than what I am!”

“You’re more than that,” Max said, and she shuddered with tears and looked at him. “You’re the protagonist of your own story. But now you can become a protagonist in other people’s eyes too.”

“What am I to you?” she asked, and he smiled and reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“You’ve always been the heroine in my story,” he said softly. “Always.” She sniffled and he leaned in to kiss her. “Don’t you know that? Tomorrow isn’t a turning point for us. It’s just an affirmation of what’s always been true. It’s not even the climax of the story. Our futures are going to be so rich, I promise.”

“It’s a turning point for me,” Jonah said dryly. “But I couldn’t be happier about it. My entire life since I met the two of you has been plot twist after plot twist. Consort to an empress isn’t what I thought I’d be doing at this point in my life, but I’m ready for it.”

“Consort nothing,” Kinga said, rubbing at her eyes as she turned to look at him. “This isn’t the British monarchy. You’re both helping me do the ruling, of course you’ll be emperors.” Jonah looked shocked.

“This is the first you’ve mentioned it to us,” he said, and she sniffed.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” she said. 

“So much of a surprise that you kept it out of the rehearsal,” Max said, and she nodded.

“I was going to sneak in the coronation after we exchanged vows,” she confessed. “After you’d become Forresters and before we were announced as spouses.”

“You’re really serious about this,” Max said.

“Why shouldn’t you both be emperors? We’re starting a dynasty here. We’re turning ourselves into royal blood. Of course we’d be equally royal.”

“That makes sense, actually,” Jonah said. “Does that mean you picked out crowns for us?”

“Cute little tiaras full of diamonds... yes, duh, I had your crowns designed at the same time as mine. Do you want to see them first? I can show you in the morning...”

“I trust your aesthetic judgment,” Max said. “And you know what I like. I’m okay with letting that be a surprise.”

“Yeah, I’m okay with it too,” Jonah said. “But I’m glad the whole thing won’t be a surprise. I get surprised by you enough, I think.”

“That’s not going to stop,” Kinga said. “I like surprising you. Both of you.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” Max said. “You like surprising everyone. The entire world.”

“That’s true,” she said. “I do. But hopefully they’ll be the good kind of surprises, mostly.”

“Just let us in on planning the surprises sometimes, okay? Three heads are better than one,” Jonah said. “Anyways, if we’re all going to rule together, you have to let us help, right?”

“I know. This was supposed to be a surprise _for_ you, though.” She yawned suddenly, and they both cuddled her between them.

“This is the last time we go to bed unmarried,” Max said, and Jonah laughed.

“I’m looking forward to the first time we go to bed married,” he said. “And the first time we wake up married. And every time after that.”

“Hopeless romantics,” Kinga said, turning to kiss first Max and then Jonah before settling down against her pillow. “I can’t wait for it.” The tears had worn her out; she fell asleep as soon as the light turned off. It didn’t take long for Jonah and Max to follow suit.

The morning of the wedding dawned sunny and cold, the closest thing to perfect that December in New York could ever get. The ceremony was at noon and each of the impending spouses found themselves pulled in a different direction to get ready, even though the wedding was taking place inside the Palace itself and they didn’t even need to leave the building to get married. Kinga had the most prep work to do and she didn’t have much patience for any of it; by the time her hair and makeup was finished and she’d been zipped into her wedding gown, all she wanted to do was to be left alone for a while. No sooner had she kicked out everyone from her ready room than someone knocked on the door insistently. She heaved a sigh and went to peek out into the hall.

“He’s not supposed to see me in my dress yet,” Kinga said when she opened the door to find Brain Guy and Max on the other side. Brain Guy rolled his eyes.

“This is more important than your human superstitions, I promise.”

“Come in, then,” she said, standing aside to let them in. Max looked absolutely transfixed at the sight of her in her bridal gown, and she pursed her lips at him until he kissed her. “What’s so important?”

“Your wedding gift from Jonah can’t wait for the reception,” Brain Guy said. “I have to deliver it now. And it’s for the both of you.”

“Okay,” Max said doubtfully.

“I pulled so many strings for this,” Brain Guy said, and Kinga arched a brow. “I had to promise a _lot_ of favors to make this happen. But you deserve it.” He closed his eyes and nodded, and two figures appeared: one stout with a white spit-curl and one tall with wild, white-streaked hair. Kinga and Max both gasped, struck dumb by the appearance of the fathers neither had seen in nearly two decades.

“Dad?” Kinga managed to breathe after a moment. Clayton looked down at his hands a little bemusedly before opening his arms wide.

“Kinga, sweetheart, you look astonishing.” She rushed into his embrace, burying her face against his chest, too shocked to cry. Max, on the other hand, was never too anything to cry, and his eyes were welling as he took a step closer to Frank.

“Look at you,” Frank said, reaching up to straighten the lapel of Max’s tuxedo, a grin dawning on his face. “My little boy getting the wedding of his dreams.”

“How are you here?” Max asked. “Can you stay?”

“Only until noon tomorrow,” Brain Guy said. “I managed to get him a day’s vacation from soultaking. And Clayton made himself very hard to track down from the moons of Jupiter to the Kuiper Belt, but once he realized what I was there for, he became cooperative.”

“As if I could miss my daughter’s wedding,” Clayton said. “Who’d walk her down the aisle, my mother? Not likely.” Kinga looked up at him and only then realized that he was softly emitting light, a slightly iridescent sheen to his skin and his tuxedo down to the bright green bow tie. “Celestial matters aren’t as important as this, after all.”

“So that’s where you’ve been this whole time?” Frank asked, trying to be casual about it. “No wonder I couldn’t find you in any of the afterlives I checked.” 

“You... looked for me?” Clayton looked over at Frank, wide-eyed, and all Frank could do was smile at the sight of him after so long searching to no avail.

“Of course I looked for you,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing. “I missed you. I thought I would miss you forever.” Kinga let go of her father and gave him a nudge toward Frank.

“Go on, you clearly want to,” she said, and that was all the encouragement he needed to close the distance and wrap his arms around his former second banana, both of them clutching each other tightly. Kinga came over to lean against Max, reaching up to brush a tear off his cheek.

“Hopeless romantic,” she whispered, and he sniffed and nodded at their dads.

“How couldn’t I be? Look at them.” She looked, just in time to see Clayton catch Frank’s face between his hands and kiss him like it could bring them both back to life. She turned back to look at Max, who was tearfully delighted, and kissed him more softly. When she finally thought to thank Brain Guy, he’d already made his exit.

“If I’d known you’d have been looking for me, I wouldn’t have gone so far,” Clayton said, and Frank shook his head.

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter now. We’re both here, that’s all that matters.” He glanced at their kids, turned pink, and let go. “We’ll have time for us later. This should be about them!”

“Don’t stop on our behalf,” Max said. “I wouldn’t let go of Kinga if this was the first time I’d seen her in twenty years.”

“You don’t want to let go of me when it’s the first time you’ve seen me in six hours,” she said, and Frank laughed.

“Still as devoted as you’ve always been?” he asked his son, who shrugged a little sheepishly.

“You told me to take care of her,” he said. “That’s got to be easier to do as her husband than as her second banana.”

“Is spouse an overriding function to second banana?” Kinga asked, a question she’d had in the back of her mind for a while. Clayton blinked, then looked upward thoughtfully.

“I think it’s a promotion,” he said. “What do you think, Frank?”

“I would have considered it a promotion,” Frank said cheerfully. “Not that it was legal back then.”

“Technically, our impending marriage is only legal because I run the country now,” Kinga said, getting a bemused look from both fathers.

“How’s that?” Frank asked.

“You haven’t met our other fiance,” Max said, and Clayton’s eyes widened. 

“Your _other_ fiance?”

“Yes. His name’s Jonah Heston, he’s... amazingly wonderful,” Max said.

“He was also our test subject,” Kinga said, and Clayton’s jaw dropped.

“Kinga Clayton Forrester, is that how I raised you? To fraternize with your test subjects? I’m shocked.”

“I’m not,” Frank said. “She’s always been an innovator.”

“He saved my life, Dad,” she said. “He didn’t have to. He could have let me die. And I would have died, for sure.”

“That’s no reason to marry someone,” Clayton said, and Frank unsubtly elbowed him.

“I would have married you after how often you saved my life.”

“I didn’t save your life, I took your life and then gave it back,” Clayton said, and Frank rolled his eyes.

“Technicalities.”

“And that’s not why you would have married me.”

“No?”

“That’s not why I’m marrying him,” Kinga interjected. “That was just when I started to fall in love with him.”

“So what’s he like?” Frank asked. “He’s got to be something special if you both love him.”

“He’s a brilliant Gizmocrat,” Max said. “And probably the nicest person I know.”

“ _Nice_ ,” Clayton said disdainfully. “That’s a weak word.”

“Not really,” Kinga said. “He’s genuinely good-hearted. He’s so kind. An actual protagonist type.”

“That’s not any better,” Clayton said. “The last protagonist-type Gizmocrat I had any contact with was Joel, and—”

“Please, you had such a thing for Joel,” Frank scoffed. Clayton stiffened and turned an indignant look on him. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t have. I’m just saying that the more you like a person the more you enjoy torturing them. I should know.” Kinga and Max shared a wide-eyed look as Clayton sputtered out a denial. Frank just gave him a level, knowing stare. “Don’t make her feel bad for getting away with what you wish you could have done.”

“You’re being _utterly_ ridiculous,” Clayton said, and Max coughed lightly.

“He’s not being that ridiculous,” he said. “I reviewed every tape of the old experiments and you were weirdly flirtatious a lot of the time.”

“You’re both out of your minds,” Clayton insisted, and Kinga sighed.

“Dad. It’s fine. Seriously. Just don’t give me shit for it if you’re guilty of it too.”

“You were supposed to be better than I was,” Clayton said, soft and sullen. “You weren’t supposed to make my mistakes over again.”

“It’s not a mistake,” she said. “Love made you miserable. Or you were miserable and love couldn’t make you less miserable. But love doesn’t make me miserable, Dad. It makes me better.”

“I made all your mistakes over again,” Max told Frank, who could only smile. “But they turned out better for me because she turned out better than him.”

“Of course she did,” Frank said. “She grew up being loved. He didn’t. And there’s only so much you can do to fix that in post.” He reached for Clayton’s hand and squeezed it. “People love how they do. You just have to hope you can bear the way the people you love love you back.” That was a bleak sentiment, in Max’s opinion, but he knew the truth of it as well. Kinga wasn’t as sadistic as Clayton had been, but her love still hurt sometimes. Not fatally, not unbearably, but it did hurt. He knew that the way he loved was more gentle, same as it had been for Frank. And the way Jonah loved didn’t hurt at all, and that was absolutely wonderful to experience. 

“If we can stop talking about my flaws and get back to talking about this wedding,” Clayton said, and Frank laughed.

“But you love being the center of attention.”

“Not right now,” Clayton said, and gestured at Kinga’s dreamy confection of a wedding gown. “I believe she’s the center of attention today?”

“Not just me,” Kinga said, leaning against Max. “Today’s the day I turn my fiances into emperors. It’s a big day for all three of us.” 

“So where is your third?” Frank asked. “Why isn’t he here?”

“We didn’t know _you_ would be here,” Max said. “But Brain Guy said that Jonah arranged you being here. So really, he should be...” Kinga went to pick up her phone and tap at it for a second, then looked up with a smile. 

“He’ll be here in a minute,” she said. “You’re going to love him, I promise.”

“We’ll see about that,” Clayton said. 

“I’m sure we will,” Frank said.

“So what have you been doing since you went away?” Kinga asked. “Out gallivanting out in space...”

“It’s really hard to describe,” Clayton said. “I spent some time messing with local gravity in the Kuiper Belt, then I decided to check out the gas giants. Travel time between planets isn’t the most enthralling thing ever, but I met some interesting people here and there. When the Observer found me I thought he was another one of his species I’d had a... disagreement with. When he chased me I was absolutely sure it was the same one. But he was quite pleasant when he caught up with me.”

“This whole time I thought you weren’t even in this plane of existence any more,” Frank said. “I never thought to check the rest of the solar system.”

“You had no reason to,” Clayton said. “How would you have known? If I had—” There was a knock on the door and Clayton fell silent. Frank was too busy staring at the expression on Clayton’s face to look over immediately when Jonah came into the room.

“Oh,” Jonah said when he stepped through the door. “It worked! I honestly thought it wasn’t going to work at this point.”

“What?” Max asked.

“When I asked Brain Guy to find your dads I thought it was like shooting the moon. Guess your aim’s a lot better for that when you’ve actually been on the moon.” Frank laughed, and Jonah extended his hand. “Hi. I’m Jonah Heston.”

“Jonah Forrester in less than an hour,” Max said. Clayton’s eyes widened.

“They’re taking your name?” he asked Kinga.

“Well, yeah. You don’t think I’d be about to renounce the Forrester name, do you? That’d be ridiculous.” Clayton nodded in satisfaction and shook Jonah’s hand.

“You’re a tall stack of flapjacks,” he said, and Jonah shot a glance at Kinga. 

“I see where you got it from.” He shook Frank’s hand next and his gaze flitted from father to son and back a couple of times. “Oh my god, Max, you really are a clone, aren’t you? You’re honestly just a younger version of him.”

“Did you think we were joking?” Max asked, amused. “Kinga’s the more impressive example of genetic manipulation, anyways. Copying’s not that hard compared to editing.” Jonah looked from Kinga to Clayton and back and he nodded.

“I definitely see the resemblance,” he said. “I honestly thought you’d be shorter,” he told Clayton, who glared at him. “Just because Kinga’s not very tall! You’re a lot taller than her.”

“Height isn’t a dominant trait,” Clayton said, and Kinga snorted.

“No, it isn’t,” she said smugly. Max turned a little pink and Jonah bit back a smile.

“I guess I should thank you,” Jonah said to Clayton. “If you hadn’t started the Mystery Science Theater experiments all those years ago, I wouldn’t be about to start a family with two people I adore.”

“Start a family?” Clayton asked, brows arching, and Kinga covered her hand with her mouth.

“Oh yeah... uh... Dad, I’m pregnant.” The sound Clayton made was just punctuation, something like “?!?!” She winced and added, “You’re going to have a granddaughter.”

“A granddaughter,” Frank echoed, stars in his eyes. “How wonderful.”

“Is this a shotgun wedding?” Clayton asked uncomfortably, and Kinga rolled her eyes.

“By the literal definition, yes,” Max said, “but we’re not being coerced into it, she just wants the wedding pictures to not feature her baby bump. She only took over the country a couple weeks ago, this is the fastest we could arrange a suitably opulent wedding for a new empress, plus write polyamorous marriage into law...”

“Call it suitably opulent for the empress,” Jonah teased. “You know this is your dream wedding, not hers.”

“Suitably opulent for the emperors too,” Max amended, laughing. “Fine, I admit it. I’m the bridezilla in this wedding. But if we can afford to go all-out, and we can, then why not make it perfect?” Suddenly, Kinga’s phone on the table and Jonah and Max’s phones in their pockets buzzed, and the three of them shared a look. “Ten minute countdown,” Max said. “You should find a seat for the ceremony, Dad. Jonah’s parents are sitting on the left side in the front, we weren’t expecting you but there should be room for you anyways.”

“I didn’t think you’d ever walk me down the aisle,” Kinga told Clayton, and he took both her hands.

“Nothing would bring me more joy.”

The Forrester wedding was notable for several reasons, and the fact that a green robot was the pianist for the processionals didn’t even make top five weirdest things about it. Growler was absolutely delighted to be put to use, and Jonah was proud of his sole surviving bot creation and the joy he took in fulfilling his purpose. When Jonah and Max were standing in front of the officiant and the music switched to “Here Comes the Bride,” Jonah curled his hand around Max’s and squeezed as Kinga started walking down the aisle, looking more radiant in her pristine white gown and gem-studded crown than her literally luminescent father escorting her. Max let out a quiet heartstruck sigh, and Jonah definitely agreed with the sentiment. She was so beautiful, beaming with joy as she got closer to them, and when Clayton passed her hands into the men’s safekeeping the three of them just smiled at each other like lovesick idiots for a second before the ceremony got into full swing.

Adjusting a wedding ceremony for three participants had taken some maneuvering, but without the religious bullshit to clutter it up it was still somehow simple. Synthia, as Kinga’s bridesmaid, read a poem that had taken Max days to find, given that all the usual wedding readings were very explicitly about only two people. He still hadn’t been able to find any vows that Kinga didn’t hate, so she insisted on writing her own, and if she intended to write her own that meant that Max and Jonah kind of had to, too, which wasn’t a problem for Max and his established habit of writing love poems, but proved slightly trickier for Jonah, who was used to writing funny things, not romantic ones. They’d mutually decided to keep their vows secret until the wedding, so when it was time for the vows all three of them were eager to hear what the others had to say. They stood hand in hand in hand while they spoke.

“I’ve always believed in destiny,” Max said, “some kind of ultimate purpose guiding my life. And I thought I knew what that purpose was. Recently it was revealed that I had no idea what my destiny really was, because it’s actually so much better than what I imagined. And it’s all because of the two of you that it’s exceeding my wildest dreams. I can’t wait to see what destiny has in store for us next, but whatever it turns out to be, it’s going to be glorious.” 

“I’ve been making jokes about Stockholm Syndrome basically since I started having feelings for you,” Jonah said, and a laugh rippled through the crowd. “But I’m not so sure it’s valid any more. Because you’ve given me the option to walk away, and that’s the last thing I want to do. I’m not a hostage to you or to the way I feel about you. You want to make the world a better place and I want to be at your sides working toward the same ends. And if one of those ends I’m working toward is making sure that you’re both happy and loved, then I’m really looking forward to taking on that responsibility.”

“I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for the two of you, several times over,” Kinga said. “Not just in this position of power but alive at all. And if I can trust you with my life, I can trust you with everything about my life. I wouldn’t be willing to share the power I’ve taken if I weren’t certain that you’re both determined to do the right thing. I might need you to remind me what the right thing to do is pretty frequently. But I have complete faith in you to keep me in the light if I start to stray. I don’t know how I got lucky enough to end up with two people I can trust this much, but now that I’ve found you, I’m going to keep you forever.” She gripped both their hands tight and looked at the officiant, who smiled.

“Do you have the rings?” Jonah did, one box with three golden rings nestled in it: one small, slim band, one slightly larger and wider band, and one band that was clearly meant for a much larger hand than the first two were. They’d had the option to go fancy and sparkly with their wedding bands, but when Kinga suggested something uncomplicated and unified in aesthetic Max and Jonah had agreed without hesitation, and they’d ended up with simple gold bands. The officiant took the ring box from him, and Jonah and Max both held the smallest ring at the tip of Kinga’s finger.

“Do you, Kinga Clayton Forrester, take these men to be your lawfully wedded husbands, until death do you part?”

“I do,” Kinga said, and Max and Jonah together slid the ring onto her finger. She beamed at them, and the officiant turned to address Max next.

“Do you, Maximilian Franklin Goldberg, take this woman and this man to be your lawfully wedded wife and husband, until death do you part?”

“I do.” There were tears in his eyes when Kinga and Jonah slid his ring on, and he blinked quickly trying to clear his vision so he didn’t miss an instant of the way they both looked at him with such love in their eyes. 

“Do you, Jonah Jay Heston, take this woman and this man to be your lawfully wedded wife and husband, until death do you part?”

“I do.” Kinga and Max slid the ring onto Jonah’s finger and neither one of them let go of his hand afterward.

“You may kiss your spouses.” First Kinga kissed Max, the same sort of sweet unhurried kiss they’d been sharing for years. Then she reached up to curl a hand behind Jonah’s neck and pull him down to be kissed just as sweetly. He didn’t even lift his head, just turned to catch Max with another gentle kiss, nudging their noses together before he straightened up. 

“Now for the coronations,” Kinga said, and Synthia retrieved a box from behind one of the large floral arrangements they’d been standing in front of, lifting the top to reveal two crowns forged to match the one adorning Kinga’s elegantly piled hairstyle. Kinga’s was studded with purple gems, amethysts and tanzanites and deep violet sapphires. The one she set on Max’s curls was inlaid with peridots and emeralds in the same design, and when Jonah ducked his head to let her crown him, his was set with amber, citrine, and yellow sapphires. She fussed with his crown until she was satisfied that it was straight, and when he stood to his full height the three of them turned to face the audience.

“May I present Empress Kinga Forrester and Emperors Jonah and Max Forrester.” Max couldn’t help but notice that Frank had tears streaming down his cheeks, or that Clayton kept wiping his eyes on the cuff of his jacket. He was half amazed that he wasn’t actively crying himself; he’d never been so happy that it was almost painfully overwhelming before, but everything about this moment was razor sharp and made him feel like he was on the verge of dissolving into a spontaneous fireworks display of love. Next to him, Kinga was fighting to keep her composure even as tears threatened to spill over. Only Jonah was clear-eyed, but he’d always been better at handling happiness compared to the drama queen and the hopeless romantic he’d just married. They walked back down the aisle hand-in-hand-in-hand, surrounded by applause, and as soon as they were out of the room Kinga pulled her husbands by the hand into the room she’d gotten ready in.

“Aren’t we going to the reception?” Jonah asked.

“We’ll come in after everyone’s moved in there already,” she said. “I just... needed to do this first.” She’d been showing an unusual amount of restraint for the ceremony’s kisses, and now that she didn’t need to bother with that she yanked Jonah down into a harder kiss with a lot more teeth and a lot less demureness. He was laughing when she let go of him and nudged his crown back into place. “You look so put together, it’s _really_ hot.”

“I think he looks dignified,” Max said, reaching up to brush his fingers against Jonah’s cheek. He’d been the one to suggest that Jonah let the stubble grow out into an actual short beard before the wedding, and they’d all been pleased with the results. “And, yes, really hot.” Jonah turned to give him a kiss too, and Max made a small pleased sound and settled his hands on Jonah’s waist.

“You’re both biased,” Jonah said.

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Max said. “But now we’re legally allowed to be outrageously biased in your favor.”

“Allowed? Expected to be,” Kinga amended. “Possibly encouraged to be.”

“You don’t need to flatter me, I’m already married to you,” Jonah said, laughing.

“Wait, do you think that means I should stop? Because I think that means I need to turn it up,” Max said. “Having a ring is no excuse to be lazy about complimenting your partner.”

“Partners,” Kinga said, wrapping her arms around Max from behind. In her heels, she was significantly taller than him, and she liked pressing that advantage any time she got it. “But that’s always been how Max operates, you know. Just because he knows you’re a sure thing doesn’t mean he’s going to stop whispering sweet nothings in your ear.”

“Excuse you, I don’t whisper sweet nothings,” Max said. “All of my compliments are grounded in reality. They’re sweet somethings.”

“I sure hope it doesn’t mean he’ll stop whispering sweet anythings in my ear,” Jonah said. “I have to admit that I’m fond of his methods.” Max tugged Jonah down for another kiss, and Kinga sighed.

“I wish I didn’t have to be out in public wearing this dress very shortly,” she said. “The two of you look sinfully good in those tuxedos, but all I want to do is unwrap you from them.”

“Calm down, darling, we’ve got the rest of our lives for that,” Max said. “I think you can wait a few more hours to get us out of the nicest clothes either of us have ever worn.”

“I’m still tapping out by six because I’d like to enjoy our wedding night without interference,” she said, and Jonah nodded fervently.

“Yes. I don’t think either of us want to endure an endless reception either,” he said. “We’ll make it as long as we make it, and we’ll make our exit when we decide we’re too worn out for people and not too worn out for each other.”

“I like this plan,” Max said. “This is a good plan.”

“We’re all agreed, then,” Kinga said. “Oh, you know what else we have to determine...”

“Hmm?” 

“How we’re going to handle the first dance,” she said. “We’ve never all danced together. Hell, Max and I have been together for how long and he barely ever got me to dance with him.”

“I figured that out already,” Max said. “Since it was an obvious concern I knew would have to be dealt with. What did you think I was asking you both about song choices for? I have a song for each pair of us so we don’t have to look totally awkward trying to dance as a trio with no practice or anything. I figured that Kinga and I could go first, then the two of you, and then me and Jonah.”

“Makes sense to me,” Kinga said. “And that’ll give me a minute to breathe before I make my dad dance with me.”

“Do you have a song for that? Since you didn’t know it would be happening...” Jonah said. 

“I’ll confer with the DJ,” she said. “Since Dad’s about twenty years out of touch with pop music anyways. There’s got to be something that’ll work.”

“I have an idea,” Max said, and Kinga snorted.

“What a surprise.”

“How about Unforgettable? That’s a classic. And I remember the two of you dancing around to it back in Deep 13.”

“Oh... that’s perfect!” She kissed his cheek. “You’re perfect. Yes.”

“I try,” he said, and kissed her back properly. “I bet he’ll cry. He was crying during the ceremony, did you see?”

“All our parents were crying,” Jonah said. “And you both had tears in your eyes.” 

“True,” Max said. “But I didn’t outright cry. Which isn’t to say that I might not at some point today, but at least I didn’t then.” Someone knocked on the door, and a moment later Synthia stuck her head in.

“Hey, newlyweds. The reception’s just waiting for you to show up to kick into high gear.” She eyed them with amusement. “Are you really going to wear those crowns the whole time?”

“Not if I have the option to remove it,” Jonah said. “It’s kind of heavy.”

“I feel like I’m playing dress-up,” Max said. “Except I’m not. This is legitimately mine. I wonder how long that’ll take to sink in.”

“I wasn’t planning on keeping it on the whole time,” Kinga said. “I did want them for photos later, but I don’t really want to wear them for our dances...”

“Oh, just take them off now, I’ll bring them to you when you need them later,” Synthia said. “It’s the least I can do to help make this day perfect for you.”

“You’re going to end up the official crown bearer of this regime if you’re not careful,” Max said as she came in, and she rolled her eyes.

“I can imagine worse fates,” she said. “Still a step up from my cover as a poorly programmed automaton. And I do like shiny things, and these are very shiny.” As they removed their crowns, they set them on a side table, and Synthia polished Kinga’s with the sash of her bridesmaid gown. “All right, your loyal subjects are waiting.”

“That’s a ridiculously exciting sentence to hear,” Kinga said, looping her arms through her husbands’ and starting to pull them along to the reception hall. Trying to lead Jonah anywhere never worked unless he cut his stride in half to match theirs, but he did so, laughing under his breath.

“Are you in a rush?”

“You only ever ask me that when I have a good reason to be,” she said. “I think showing off my new husbands to the world is a pretty good reason to walk faster.”

“I thought you said I wasn’t just a show piece?”

“You can be arm candy and an equal partner simultaneously,” she said. 

“I’m pretty sure that collectively we’re now the hottest world leaders, but you two are mostly carrying that,” Max said, and Kinga paused just outside the doors to give him a little shake.

“You’re kidding, right? You look insanely good right now. Happiness suits you so well.”

“She’s right,” Jonah said, leaning down to kiss the top of Max’s head. “You look delicious. Formalwear is so flattering to you, too.”

“I don’t believe you but I also don’t want you to stop lying,” Max said, and she smirked at him.

“Ready for the cameras, Mr. Forrester?” The grin that lit up his face was purely joyful. “How about you, Mr. Forrester?” she asked, looking up at Jonah. 

“We’re ready if you are, Mrs. Forrester,” he said, and she reached out to push the doors open and lead them into the reception hall. The DJ announced them, and the spotlight that focused on them made her look like she was glowing between them as they walked up to the head table and surveyed the people who’d come out to celebrate their wedding. A little hasty rearrangement had put Clayton and Frank at the same table as Jonah’s parents, near the front of the room. Pearl, Brain Guy, and Bobo were seated not very far away, and Synthia and Terry also not far away but in the opposite direction of Pearl. The faces further away were less familiar: a few curious world leaders, several colleagues from their Gizmonic days, some of the scientists and economists that had agreed to work with Kinga’s administration to do the most good possible in the least amount of time. Everyone was looking at them, and the weight of all that regard made Kinga stand a little taller, acutely aware that if there were ever a time she needed to be impressive, this was it. She turned and offered her hand to Max.

“Shall we?”

“Let’s shall,” he said as he took it and they walked onto the dance floor. Her heels gave her a couple more inches on the couple she already had on him, and as an upbeat acoustic guitar began to play he looked up at her as he settled his hands on her waist and smiled. “You look absolutely breathtaking,” he said as the lyrics started and they began to move together. “Even better than all my daydreams of what this would be like.”

“You’ve been dreaming of it for a while,” she said with a laugh in her voice. “Are you sure I live up to the hype?”

“I’m the one who should be asking you if this is as good as your dreams,” he said. “You’ve always been better than what I could ever imagine. But you’re the one who wanted things in a certain order.”

“It’s better than what I imagined too,” she admitted. He couldn’t help himself from singing along to the chorus of the song, perpetually slightly off key and making her bite back a giggle.

“I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been, lucky to be coming home again...” 

“This is what I get for letting the hopeless romantic pick the music,” she murmured into his ear, and he breathed a laugh.

“I did ask for your input. Don’t you like it?”

“It’s perfect.” It was perfect. She could remember the first time he’d played this song for her, not long before they’d gone to the Moon, one of their last date nights on Earth. He’d suggested they get married before they left the planet and she’d laughed off the suggestion, still so young and callous in her memory, sure that if she got anything she wanted it would only be a matter of time before it fell to pieces and needing him too badly to risk that great a loss. How incoherent that seemed now, when Max’s devotion had proven over and over to be the bedrock her life was anchored on. “I’m glad I came to my senses.”

“I knew you’d get there eventually,” he said fondly. “I just expected it to take a lot longer.”

“Things got weird.”

“Things are always weird where you’re involved, my love.”

“Weirder than that.”

“Well, yes. You’re very weird and I’m pretty weird and then Jonah’s weirdness got added to ours. Critical weirdness levels were reached, and we weaponized our collective weirdness to change the world.”

“I wonder how weird the baby will be,” she said thoughtfully, and he laughed.

“She’s going to be like nothing the world’s ever seen before. But you’re like nothing the world had ever seen before, too.”

“Sweet-talker.”

“I’m only speaking the truth.” The song came to an end, and he went up on his toes to kiss her before relinquishing her to Jonah for their dance. Even in her heels Jonah towered over her, but it was still enough of a difference from her normal height to keep her from having to stare straight up at him.

“The two of you are so sweet together,” he said as their song began with a slow guitar intro, and she huffed a laugh.

“Yeah?” The song Max had picked out for them was a cover of Maybe I’m Amazed by a female vocalist, and she laughed a little more when she realized it, hiding her face against Jonah’s chest for a moment. _Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time, maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you..._

“It’s so obvious how much you love each other.”

“I hope it’s just as obvious how much we love you,” she said. 

“I guess we’ll find out when we see the pictures. I sure feel like I look smitten whenever I see either of you. And you...” He pulled back slightly to stare into her eyes, then smiled. “You don’t know how your expression changes when you’re looking at someone you love. It makes you even more beautiful.”

“I’m surrounded by hopeless romantics,” she said teasingly.

“Kinga, you’re literally having a fairy tale wedding right now. I think you could get away with being a hopeless romantic for the day with us.”

“Oh my god, I am, aren’t I?”

“You deserve it, too.” She ducked her head against his chest again and her shoulders shook slightly. “Oh... what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how I got here,” she said shakily. “A month ago all I was thinking about was sneaking you down to Moon 13 and how to finish season two. And now...”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he said. “It all happened so fast.”

“Do I deserve all this? Really?”

“Where’s this doubt coming from? You’re Kinga Forrester, remember? You deserve anything you want for all the good you’ve done in the past month. The amount of misery you’ve solved means that you deserve every moment of joy you get out of today and out of the rest of your life.”

“This is not what I thought my life would be like.”

“Join the club,” he laughed. “Thanks to you, no one is living the life they expected to live a month ago. Me most of all.”

“But in a good way,” she said uncertainly.

“Is that a question? Of course in a good way.” He leaned down to put his mouth next to her ear. “This is your wedding, heroine. Don’t second-guess it. Just enjoy it.” She shivered a little and leaned harder against him, not saying anything else for the rest of the song, just enjoying the way he held her as they swayed together. When the song ended he held her tighter for a moment and then bent to kiss her. 

“Good luck with the cricks in your necks you’re about to get,” she said laughingly as she handed Jonah over to Max. Max looked all the way up at Jonah and Jonah looked all the way down at Max. She wasn’t kidding, that fifteen inch difference was going to be murder, but neither of them cared much. The first piano chords wafted into the air, and Max had to reach up to settle his hands on Jonah’s waist.

 _Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you..._

“Did you know I love this song?” Jonah asked, and Max smiled.

“I did my research,” he said. “But it also seemed to suit us. And this is my favorite version.”

“You have good taste.”

“In music or in love?” Max asked with a laugh, and Jonah cupped Max’s cheek gently as they swayed.

“In a lot more than just that.”

“A niche opinion, but one I’ll gladly accept.” Jonah’s glasses slipped further down his nose the longer he looked straight down at Max, and Max reached up to gently push them up. Jonah kissed his fingertip, and Max sighed softly.

“I bet we look ridiculous,” he said.

“I bet I couldn’t care less if people think so,” Jonah replied. “I’m far too happy to worry about other people’s opinions right now. Anyways, I told Kinga this was a fairy tale wedding... and this definitely seems like a fairy tale detail.”

“Oh, god, what did she say about that? Her dad used to read her the most horrible fairy tale renditions...”

“She didn’t argue about it.” 

“I don’t know about fairy tales, but I could definitely turn us into D&D characters...”

“Why am I one hundred percent certain that you’ve already thought this through completely?”

“Because you know me pretty well by now,” Max laughed. “And I might be slightly predictable.”

“I wouldn’t call you predictable,” Jonah said. “You’ve certainly managed to surprise me a few times. But I know how nerds think, and you’re definitely a nerd.”

“No kidding.”

“You have character sheets written out, don’t you.”

“Shut up.”

“Can I see them?”

“Of course you can. Only if you promise not to make fun of them.”

“I don’t make fun of you, Max. Your hobbies are important to you and you’re important to me.” The song ended and Jonah leaned all the way down to kiss Max, then added in his ear, “because I love you.” 

“I love you too.” They came back to rejoin Kinga at the table, and she reached for both of their hands as they sat down next to her.

“I like watching the two of you together,” she said. 

“Yeah, we’re aware,” Max laughed.

“Even with your clothes on.”

“Well, we both do look astonishingly good in tuxedos,” Jonah said.

“Yeah you do.” She cast a blatantly possessive look at each of them and smirked before she stood up to say a few words welcoming everyone to “a wedding unlike anything the world has ever known” before waiters started bringing meals to tables and the newlyweds could relax while everyone’s attention was occupied with excellent food and not with them. 

At the end of the meal, Jonah and his mom had a mother and groom dance to What a Wonderful World, and then Kinga and Clayton took a spin to Unforgettable, just like Max had suggested. Then the dance floor opened up and Max shyly pulled Kinga back out to dance with the excuse that he had a lifetime’s worth of dancing that she owed him. Jonah thought he’d just let himself absorb the controlled chaos of the crowded room, until he caught sight of a golden net off to one side of the room and decided to go talk to the bots first. He hadn’t been sure they’d accept his invitation to the wedding when he sent it, but he’d genuinely wanted them to be there. Even though they’d parted ways on iffy terms— Jonah had only told them what was going on less than a day before they were sent back to Earth, and they’d been too shocked to really respond to his revelation of the relationship in context with everything else he’d told them— he hoped they were still friends. He walked over and immediately found himself surrounded by displeased bots.

“Jonah, what the hell?” Tom asked, hovering higher to get into Jonah’s face. “You lied to us for _how_ long, then you _take over a country_ —”

“Without us!” Crow interjected, hurt coloring his voice.

“Yeah! Didn’t you think we’d enjoy staging a coup?” Gypsum asked. 

“Well, wait a second,” Jonah said, hands up defensively to hold the little red bot back. “Yeah, I lied, and I’m sorry about that, but I thought you’d feel betrayed if you knew I was—”

“Fraternizing with the enemy?” Crow asked.

“ _Sleeping_ with the enemy,” Gypsum said.

“We thought you were being _tortured_ ,” Tom said. “Not getting laid! We were worried about you!”

“Were you really?”

“No,” Crow said stubbornly. “Why would we worry about you? You’re not even our friend.”

“Oh, come on, I am too your friend.”

“Friends don’t lie,” Tom said.

“I see you’ve caught up on your Netflix backlog since going home.”

“We watched our show, too,” Gypsum said. “It’s _weird_ seeing how our lives looked from the outside.”

“I know how that feels,” Jonah said. “Look... I really am sorry about lying to you. It was cowardly of me. Even though it was what Kinga told me to do, I should have found some way to tell you before the day before she sent you home. I was too worried about trying to explain such an unconventional relationship, but I should have had more faith in you guys. I suck and I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“You do suck,” Crow said. “You suck the most.”

“He doesn’t suck the most,” Tom said. “But I can see the person who does suck the most from here.” He pointed, and all the bots hissed at the sight of Clayton and Frank on the dance floor. 

“Well, come on, guys, you wouldn’t exist except for what he did to Joel, so maybe cut him a little slack,” Jonah said.

“Of course you’d defend him now that he’s your father-in-law,” Gypsum scoffed. “You’re just a Mad now.”

“Hey, I am no such thing!”

“And the lies continue,” Crow said dramatically. “Don’t act like you haven’t been incorporated into her aesthetic. We’ve seen you on TV. You took her name! You even have a villainous beard now! You’re a Mad.”

“That’s really hurtful,” Jonah said.

“You deserve it,” Crow said. “You big fat lying jerk.” Jonah looked genuinely dismayed.

“I’m not a Mad,” he said. “I’m still a good guy, okay? I’m trying to be a good influence on them. Kinga’s trying to be better and I’m doing the best I can to help her with it.”

“Whatever,” Tom said. “How can we believe anything you say when all you did was lie for months?”

“I guess I can’t say anything to make you believe me,” Jonah said. “But most of the time we were up on the Satellite of Love I wasn’t hiding anything. And I wasn’t actively collaborating with them until a few weeks ago, I was just dating them—”

“Spare us the details,” Gypsum said.

“I wasn’t going to give any details,” Jonah said.

“Then spill the details!” Crow demanded.

“You don’t want the details,” Jonah said. “Trust me.”

“How can we trust you?!” Tom wailed. “You’re a traitor to everything we stood for on the SOL.” Jonah took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing, then put them back on.

“Is there any way I can make this up to you?”

“Give us positions in your new government,” Crow said. “I want to decide who lives and who dies.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jonah said. “You wouldn’t be happy as a bureaucrat anyways, Crow. You’re an artist. You should be turning your screenplays into films, making your dreams come true.”

“I don’t want a position in the government,” Gypsum said. “ConGypsCo’s actually doing astonishingly well under the new system. We’ve gotten more contracts in the... last four weeks...” She trailed off, focusing on Jonah. “Did you do that? Give my company government contracts?”

“I haven’t handled anything like that,” Jonah said. “If ConGypsCo is getting contracts, it’s because it’s the best corporation for the job that needs to be done.” He stared back uncomfortably as the big purple bot got into his face, and then she shrugged her coils and backed off.

“I knew something fishy was going on the whole time you were carrying on this affair,” she said. “I just didn’t know what.”

“We all knew something was up,” Tom said. “We just didn’t think it was _this_. And it wasn’t even an affair, apparently! You’re legitimately lovey-dovey with the Mads.”

“I think the marriage makes it legitimate, yes,” Jonah said dryly.

“I just don’t get it,” Crow said. “Were you _that_ lonely in space?”

“It wasn’t about being lonely,” Jonah said. “I just... did them a favor once, and once lead to twice, and then... they’re really not like you think they are. When I found out what they were really like off-camera I sort of... just kind of fell for them.”

“For the Mads,” Tom said. “You just sort of kind of fell in love with the Mads.”

“I know how it sounds...”

“Do you really? Because it sounds like you have Stockholm Syndrome in a completely non-hilarious way,” Gypsum said. “It sounds like you’ve been brainwashed.”

“I’m not brainwashed,” Jonah said. “I’m still Jonah. I swear.”

“You’re not Jonah Heston any more,” Tom pointed out, and Jonah had to concede that point with a shrug.

“Sounds like what someone brainwashed would say,” Crow said.

“I’m sorry, guys, I don’t know what to tell you. Love makes people do stupid, weird, inexplicable things sometimes. I’m really sorry I broke your trust. If you can’t forgive me, I hope you can at least not hate me for it.”

“We don’t hate you,” Gypsum said. “We’re just disappointed in you.”

“Speak for yourself,” Crow said. “I think he sucks out loud.”

“I don’t hate you, Jonah,” Tom said. “I just think you’ve been kind of a dickweed.”

“I deserve that,” Jonah said. “Look, I don’t want to ruin your lives or anything like that. If you just want me to go away forever...”

“Yeah, fat chance of that happening with you literally running the country,” Crow said. “It’ll be impossible to avoid your big dumb face on the news.”

“I don’t want you to disappear,” Tom said. “I’m just glad we don’t have to put up with you lying to our faces any more. I hope you’re as good for Kinga as you think you are, because otherwise the world is still doomed, just a different flavor of doomed.”

“I’ll take cinnamon over Cheeto,” Jonah said. “It’s not doomed, I promise. She never wanted to ruin the world, she just wanted to run it. And you have to admit that so far things have been going in the right direction.”

“Universal basic income doesn’t apply to bots,” Crow said, rolling his eyes. “And we generate our own power, so we’ve never been part of the energy problem.”

“It doesn’t? It should,” Jonah said. “I specifically requested that you be counted as citizens. Didn’t you get ID cards?”

“Yeah, and they have our correct birth dates and everything,” Tom said. “Mine’s actually the day I came online. I thought only Joel knew that.”

“Those are your UBI cards, too,” Jonah said. “You might not need food to survive and your shelter might be taken care of by Joel and Mike, but you still have the same benefits as any other citizen.”

“Since when are robots citizens?” Crow asked. 

“...since I specifically requested it,” Jonah repeated himself, “because you’re independent, sentient artificial intelligences and you deserve the right to determine your own fates as much as any human being. Seriously, did no one tell you this? I thought you should have gotten a letter with your cards.”

“I may have only skimmed that,” Crow said, eyes shifting to one side. “You really did that for us?”

“Yeah,” Jonah said, shrugging. “I lived with you long enough to know that it was true. I thought you’d be happy about it. I thought you’d _know_ about it, at least.”

“I knew about it,” Gypsum said. “But I don’t really need UBI with the success of ConGypsCo, so I didn’t take advantage of it.”

“So why didn’t you tell us?” Crow asked.

“You can read,” Gypsum said. “If you don’t read your own mail, that’s on you, not me.” Crow made an indignant sound.

“Well... thanks, Jonah,” Tom said. “That was decent of you.”

“I know you think I don’t because I was keeping secrets from you, but I _do_ care about you guys,” Jonah said. “You deserve to be happy too.” 

“So do you,” Gypsum said. “Just because we can’t imagine the Mads making anyone happy doesn’t mean you aren’t happy with them in your own weird way. So congratulations on being married.”

“Thanks, Gyps.” Jonah looked out at the dance floor, easily finding his spouses by the beacon of Kinga’s white dress, and then looked back at the other bots uncertainly. “I guess I’ll leave you be, then.” He’d barely taken a step before Crow lunged at him, scrawny arms thrown around Jonah’s waist.

“You’re not so bad,” he said, still trying to sound ambivalent. “I guess you’re not a total dickweed.”

“Oh, you guess?”

“You’re a pretty good guy,” Crow allowed. “Maybe your marriage won’t be a disaster.”

“I really hope it won’t be,” Jonah said. He patted Crow’s shoulder gently. “Thanks, buddy.”

“Hey, Jonah?” Tom hovered a little higher until Jonah looked at him. “I hope they’re good to you.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ve never been this happy.” 

“It shows,” Gypsum said. “You look like a total lovesick dope when you look at them.”

“He doesn’t look the dopiest,” Crow said. “Max definitely looks the dopiest.”

“Don’t talk about my husband that way,” Jonah laughed, and Crow rolled his eyes.

“Get out of here before we have to start mocking you again.”

“Take care of yourselves, guys,” Jonah said. “And... read your mail when it comes in. You might hear from me again in the not-too-distant future.” He left them curious and couldn’t suppress his own grin as he sought his spouses out on the dance floor. 

It was easier to get away with dancing as a slightly awkward trio during upbeat music rather than slow songs, and all of them danced like total dorks anyways. None of them would have any idea how many videos were uploaded to YouTube of them looking like total goofballs dancing around until three of the videos went viral overnight. By the time they cut the cake, all three of them were giddy and tired, and they made their grand exit not long after that, not out to a car and a honeymoon but to a different room for their wedding photoshoot and then up the elevator to their penthouse suite.

“Is it midnight?” Kinga asked with a sigh, walking over to the floor to ceiling window and pressing her hand to the cold glass. 

“It’s quarter to six,” Jonah said, shrugging off his tuxedo jacket and throwing it over the back of a chair, then setting his crown down on the table. Max quickly followed suit, then came up behind Kinga and kissed the nape of her neck.

“I know what you mean, though,” he said. “It feels like it should be the middle of the night.”

“Is it totally against the spirit of being newlyweds to want a nap right now?” she asked. “Just a quick one.”

“I’m on board with that idea,” Jonah said. “I don’t think it’s against the newlywed spirit to have a cuddle nap and regain some energy for the wedding night.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” Max agreed. “As long as no one will get mad if my hands wander while we undress each other...” His fingers toyed with the zipper of Kinga’s gown, and she dropped her head forward to encourage him.

“I’d be disappointed if they didn’t,” she said, and Jonah laughed and came over.

“Hold on a second, I want one more kiss before I have to go back to leaning the whole way down to reach you,” he said, and Kinga laughed and turned her face up to kiss him back while Max drew her zipper down.

“We should get out from in front of the window,” she said. “Or we’re going to become very famous for a very different reason than we’d like.”

“For sure,” Jonah said, and he swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. 

“I feel left out not getting the bridal carry,” Max said with a laugh, following them, and then he yelped when Jonah set Kinga on the bed and turned around to pick him up too.

“Don’t ever say I don’t love you,” Jonah said, kissing him before setting him down next to Kinga. “God, you’re both cute. How’d I get so lucky?”

“Having a very flexible definition of lucky,” Kinga said dryly, kicking her heels off before standing up again to let Jonah help her out of the bridal gown.

“You made your own luck,” Max said. “Or at least, you did a lot to help it along.” He undid his bow tie and started unbuttoning his collar before Kinga nudged his hands away and took over unbuttoning him. 

“You believe in destiny,” Jonah said, and they both nodded. “Do you think I was always part of your destiny?”

“I did like you from the day I met you,” Kinga said.

“That’s why you ended up as our test subject,” Max said. “Because we both already liked you as a person.” They pulled Jonah onto the bed between them and both started unbuttoning him, and he laughed and let them do what they would. 

“I think I like that thought now,” Jonah said. “I didn’t before. But thinking that the three of us were always meant to save the world is very appealing.”

“The world and each other,” Max said. Jonah reached up to pull the pins out of Kinga’s hair and let it cascade around her shoulders and she sprawled out on the bed next to them with a yawn.

“Be more naked and come cuddle me,” she said. “We all need to recharge. Because I have no plans to let either of you sleep tonight.”

“Yes, dear,” Max and Jonah chorused, dissolving into giggles as they both ditched their clothes off the side of the bed and moved to surround her in cuddles. “Wake me up when you’re ready to have your wicked way with me,” Max added, and Jonah snorted.

“You usually wake up first out of the three of us. I think that means you get to have your wicked way with us.”

“Ooh, I’m okay with that.”

“I thought you might be.”

“Shhhh,” Kinga said. “Don’t encourage him. Power goes to his head.”

“But he wields it so well,” Jonah said. 

“Don’t worry,” Max said. “I’m a very benevolent dictator.”

“That makes one of us,” she said.

“Hey,” Jonah said.

“You’re not a dictator. You’re too democratic.”

“Isn’t a marriage a democracy?”

“Not when the two of you outnumber me,” she said, and Max laughed and squeezed her gently.

“You should have known this would happen when you proposed to both of us.”

“Shhh. I’m still in charge here. I refuse to cede power so easily.”

“We’ll see about that,” Jonah said. She made a huffy sound and wrapped herself around him.

“Go to sleep,” she said. “We’ll resume this power struggle in a couple of hours.”

“And so begins the rest of our lives,” Max said.

“God help us all,” Jonah said with a laugh.


End file.
